I've been thinking (despite the inherent dangers) and I feel that we should look at a new phrase: "Capacity Construction". We have long used the phrase "Capacity Building", but to me that doesn't describe what we really want to do. "Building" suggests to me showing up, putting some blocks on top and going home. "Construction" suggests building to a plan with a vision and a conclusion.

So as I'm going through all that we achieved in this giant capacity building project, I thought about the nature of projects that contain capacity building components - usually add-ons to some other activity that ensures sustainability. You build some schools, you teach other people to build schools. You open new agriculture markets, you show people how to open agriculture markets. Your main objective isn't to build capacity, and it isn't a clearly articulated portion of a larger overall plan to build capacity. 

Tatweer had a blueprint for capacity construction. Delivering a training class was done as part of a much larger scheme to get a Ministry to function on its own. We were in the capacity construction business.

Obviously, the fall colors are stunning. The mountains ahead are breathtaking. It seems as if you can see forever as the day is clear.

The path is quite rocky though. If you have ever walked on such a path, you'll know that you have to move carefully so as not to injure yourself. You have to concentrate on the path and look down as you walk. You can stop to admire the scenery, but when you are moving you have to be careful.

You know where this path is going. Its headed for the mountains. Even though it seems you can see the mountains, they still remain a little mystical. You know when you reach them - and climb them - you can look down at the valley and all its magic and colors. Its hard not to have a sense of anticipation as you prepare yourself for the climb. The power of the mountains!  

This is a way of lot of people choose to lead their lives. They live in a world of beauty all around them, but aspire for more. They choose a hard scrabble path to reach greater heights, and have to ignore the magic that is their journey. The golden grass set against the fiery red leaves are your children growing up, your spouse succeeding professionally, and just the wonderment of being alive. 

To the left of the path is a slope downward, deeper into the valley. Its a sharp slope, something difficult to climb out of. We consciously fight the urge to stay on the path, imagining that those mountains are inaccessible from the floor of the valley. Clearly some people choose to leave the rocky path and choose to immerse themselves in the beauty that is all around them - you can see that from the two houses in the valley. These could be the metaphors for the retired stockbrokers - turned - innkeepers, 

The power and the majesty of the mountains entices many to stay on the hard journey to the top. While you can see where you are headed, its still something of a mystery. However, as you get closer, the colors begin to fade. and the greyness takes over. If you get so far as to scale the hills into the mountains, you have to look back to see what life you've just lived. 

Most literature suggests that you should live life in one of two places - either look ahead at your goals and live life for the future. Others suggest you look down at your feet and live for the present. I believe in the beauty of the journey. 

There are a whole host of things that irritate me about this post and the rest of the dialog.  Suffice it to say you can go to the board yourself and find all of my rantings and ravings. 

But here's what is really bothering me: This is part of a trend in the United States that really bothers me. The George W. Bush / Sarah Palin "Plain Talk", make fun of the northeastern democrats with the big college degrees is a really scary trend in our country. While we struggle daily with our national competitiveness, some of our nations leaders (yes, I shuddered a bit at the thought), suggest that an education is not only unnecessary, but its a bad thing - something that makes it difficult for one to have a simple view of things.

This is so wrong on so many levels. One of the things that set our country apart in the 18th and 19th century from European powers at the time was the innovation of the state school - a institute of higher education designed to ensure that a university education was not only for the elite and that the masses now had access to lead the same lives of intellectual pursuits and leadership.

As I work in developing countries, I meet thousands of 20-somethings that would have loved to get an education in one of our state schools (never mind the Ivy League). And here I am in a thread arguing that even though Halle Berry got rich without a college degree, there is still value to the education universities provide! 

Repeatedly, posters discuss the skills you learn in college and how they don't lead to improved performance on the job. YOU DON"T LEARN SKILLS IN COLLEGE. You don't learn Microsoft Outlook, you read Shaw. You don't learn to fill out DHL customs forms, you study comparative religion. You don't study French, you study French literature. You build a foundation for a deeper, richer life. 

I fear this national trend. Really. 

It would seem that we will have quite a bit of diplomacy to do in order to reach some sort of working relationship with Pakistan (a must - we can't abandon a nuclear power, we can't abandon our only land access to Afghanistan, and we can't abandon hundreds of millions of impoverished people). It would seem that releasing alternative plans and intentions would be counterproductive; moreso that those plans never had to be carried out. 

You want to give facts? Fine. We stormed the compound. We lost a helicopter. We tried to take Bin Laden prisoner (well...). And we shot him. How much more detail is necessary? Even if the public wants it (and I admit, I watch it on TV), the public can do without it.

Well, there is a plan; I feel confident that our administration does all things for a reason. I just don't get it.

Back when I arrived in Baghdad, we were discouraged (greatly) from maintaining any sort of blog. I sent letters to friends, and stored them under the heading of "Journal". I decided to reopen some of them, and I think they are worthy of being published now. This one comes at the end of September, 2008 as a letter to a friend:

I just got done reading War Journal by Richard Engel who was (is?) a correspondent with NBC news for 5 years. The book takes place from 2003 before the war started to early 2008. Obviously, the stuff he had in there in early 2008 feels like it rings closely with what I know. The book takes the reader through the deterioration of the sectarian violence, the mismanagement of the war effort, and other stuff that I guess is newsworthy.

My work isn't newsworthy. Except for the fact I'm one of the contractors; making three times as much money as I would at home (quote from the book, not necessarily accurate) in my khaki and olive green clothes, with backpacks and Oakley wraparound sunglasses. According to the book, I am the corporations feeding off of the US Government's war kitty. I am the opportunist.

Anyway, what happened was that after I read the book, I went back to Amazon to find some other books that help explain to me the events that got us from 2003 to where I am now here in Iraq. And I found a list of books that suggest I'm part of the problem. Or that I am, in fact, the problem if you look at it as we were President Bush's objective all the time - the rich American firms looking to swim in the profits that inevitably follow the conquering of a rich oil country.

Richard Engel left Iraq sometime after the surge in mid 2007 and returned in early 2008. What he saw (and described) was my reality - the guys at the airport in Amman lined up to get into Iraq. The security situation improved, although still a little dangerous.

I say its all about "me", even though the target is usually the mercenaries that are protecting us that catch all the wrath of the writers. But I do feel like I'm part of a bigger system. I also feel like I am actually doing something. Changing something. Being part of some history.

My role isn't something that anyone wants to read about though, or report on. Who cares that we are building a Human Resources Directorate within the Ministry of Agriculture? (My contribution, so far, has been to help the people who are doing the work think of their activities as parts of systems and not collections of tasks - thats a whole other story I think). Does anyone care that our Energy team has helped the Ministry of Electricity budget to buy $900 million of fire safety equipment for next year? How about that the Ministry of Health has completed a 5 year strategic plan that takes into account the input of their regional offices around the country?

You know, I've always been a little numb to the impact of my work on a country. I don't really allow myself to enjoy the thoughts that perhaps all this "system" building I do is making any sort of impact on the lives of ordinary people. I think its folly to think that way. I'm always part of a much larger picture, and slowly over time we overcome layers upon layers of apathy and inertia to make things a little bit better each time. My efforts are 2 years of my time out of 25 years of thousands of people's time. I typically feel joy in helping build the skills of the young person working alongside of me much more than I allow myself to think that I'm having a larger impact.

But I allowed myself to wander a little bit here in Iraq. My goodness, look at the scale of this project. Look at where we were coming from (in some cases, absolutely zero). Look what we can do! And then I find a list of books on Amazon that say that I'm a failed part of a Bush conspiracy to channel US funds into greedy corporations and underachieving mercenary cowboys looking to profit from a destroyed state.
I'm overstating it for sure. But I feel a book coming from me (not the first time I've said this). I don't know if its a book that a lot of people would want to actually read, but it sure feels like a book I want to write. As I write this I don't even know what this book is going to say. But I feel there is something different that needs to be said.

I stopped reading - the interesting stuff was very polarized, and the very dry stuff - was very dry. At the time of arriving here, I had a flood of all sorts of emotions. As I read this, I remember vividly how I felt. I don't really feel that way as strongly as then.